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I so, so wanted to do a non-mcsmooch smooch!

Title: Don't believe everything you're told (because you might find out it's true)
Author: Devera
Pairings: Lorne/Sheppard
Rating: R
Words: 885
Series: SGA

Summary: Alien plant life. Lorne would never have believed it if he hadn't... well, you know.

Evan really hadn't believed all of David's stories. Botanists couldn't be trusted half the time and David, Evan suspected, couldn't be trusted the other half. So when Sheppard brushed up against one of the pod like trees that spotted the landscape of P3R-622 on their way back to the jumper, and it promptly leaned over, opened up and spilled its contents all over Sheppard, the only thing Evan could do was near double over laughing hysterically.

Except Sheppard went from looking a little freaked out at the goop that was unexpectedly covering him to quarterback tackling Evan to the ground, which was also about as unexpected. It was pretty much at around about this point that Evan wondered if maybe all Parish's crazy stories about weird botanicals and their behaviour-modifying properties might have had a kernel of truth to them after all.

"Oh, crap," Sheppard said, jerking his head back and licking his lips and looking kind of deer-in-the-headlights startled.

"Oh, shit," Evan said too, but not because his CO had just planted one on him or even because he was suddenly kind of fixated on whether it was Sheppard he could taste or the goop. "You're, uh..." he started, but the regs were actually too ingrained to finish that sentence, and potentially so was his sense of self preservation. "That was kind of..."

He thought he was probably about to say 'good', so when Sheppard said, "Yeah," his voice high and thin and panicky, and shifted in a way that could be only described as awkward, managing to sort of slot into place on top like he was actually meant to be there, Evan really did not know what to think or even if he could.

"Yeah..." Evan found himself agreeing, and Sheppard was warm – no, hot – his body temperature seemed suddenly way too high, and he was all bony angles and lean lines and Evan had never actually noticed before- Okay, so he'd noticed, he just hadn't thought about- Well, he might have occasionally thought... Alright, fine, fantasized. In the privacy of his own quarters, though! Definitely never on duty. Mostly never on duty, but Christ, John Sheppard was... Sheppard was really…

"Uh..." Evan started slowly, because this was nothing like any of the thoughts Evan had seriously, honestly never had about his CO; but he was kind of wondering whether it should have been. "Sir?"

"I totally didn't mean to..." Sheppard panted, still looking wild-eyed, like he wanted to bolt and couldn't. "I mean, okay I might have thought about... Maybe, but..."

Evan was trying to follow, honestly he was. But plant goop was getting everywhere; on Evan's skin and in his hair and seeping through his clothes and Sheppard felt so good sprawled across him and he totally hadn't decided to put his hands on his CO's ass, had no idea how they'd gotten there in fact and maybe he just needed to buy some time until Sheppard got a grip or the jungle juice wore off or something.

Except there was just one thing...

"You can't seriously be telling me," Evan gasped, and somehow he was hitching Sheppard's hips closer without even meaning to, "that all that crap around the base about sex pollen is actually true?!"

"Oh, god, yes," Sheppard groaned, and he didn't seem to be confirming Evan's query so much as agreeing to where Evan had his hands. He - Jesus God - just shifted into Evan's grip like he wanted more and that just made Evan grip him harder, which likely would have made Evan's hard-on about as obvious as Sheppard's. "Fuck, yes. I mean, no! This is bad. Probably. No, definitely. This is definitely bad."

"Define bad," Evan demanded, and later he was going to give himself points for managing to sound so philosophical about it when Sheppard was straddling one of his thighs and had pretty much started humping it. "Are we talking finding out sex pollen actually exists because your CO jumps you bad, or taking advantage of your CO while under the influence of said sex pollen bad, because I definitely believe there are degrees to these things."

"Fucking hell," Sheppard said, looking a bit feverish. "I never realized but you talk way too much, and take advantage. Seriously. Or I'll make it an order."

Evan shuddered, and his hand was jerking open Sheppard's fly and slipping down the front of Sheppard's BDU's before he'd even really thought about it.

"You," he said, and despite the angle it was astonishingly easy to get his hand around Sheppard's cock, "wouldn't know an order if it walked up and bit you."

Sheppard managed to glare, even while Evan gave him a long hard stroke, and then another. "That's, 'if it walked up and bit you, Sir'," he groaned. "Now, fuck me. That's an order."

And oh, god. Oh, god. This was either the worst, or the absolute god damn best thing that had ever happened to Evan Lorne.

"Sure, Sir," Evan grinned, because even under the influence of alien sex pollen, he just couldn't resist. "But what'll we use for lube?"

Possibly, if Sheppard hadn't been too busy rutting into Evan's hand and then coming all over Evan's pants, he would have decked him for that. Or demoted him. Luckily, however, endorphins seemed to leave him pliant, accommodating, and moaning encouragingly while Evan did precisely what he was told.


( 27 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 7th, 2009 11:53 am (UTC)
Hah, this is why you should always listen to the botanists. :P I sure do hope that John and Evan are alone. It would be kind of awkward if Ronon suddenly showed up, asking why they're lagging behind.

PS: I really like your icon.
Oct. 8th, 2009 10:49 am (UTC)
This is definitely why you should always listen to botanists lol!

And I'm wondering if it's sex pollen, would it matter if Ronon showed up? Maybe he's busy dealing with his own plant induced incident? ;)

Thanks for reading!

PS It's my only Lorne icon and I've just realised I definitely need more!
Oct. 7th, 2009 04:28 pm (UTC)
oh wow, that's awesome! I love the banter =D
Oct. 8th, 2009 10:50 am (UTC)
Thank you! Banter is always fun!
Oct. 7th, 2009 05:44 pm (UTC)
Oh, yum! Damn, they're funny & hot together!

And yes, you so so should write smooches!!)
Oct. 8th, 2009 10:50 am (UTC)
Thanks! Yeah I was in the mood for light-hearted smexing ^__^
Oct. 7th, 2009 06:34 pm (UTC)
"That's, 'if it walked up and bit you, Sir'," he groaned. "Now, fuck me. That's an order."

AHAHA. I love so much about this, especially the delightful confusion and alien-pollen-inspired haze of yeah, wait, oh, really? hell, yes.

They are teh awesome together. Thanks so much for this.
Oct. 8th, 2009 10:51 am (UTC)
You are very welcome!

And yeah they are a bit awesome together. They've sort of gotten into my head and now I can't stop thinking about them... ehem
Oct. 7th, 2009 07:04 pm (UTC)
This is lovely and hot! And the way they don't finish their sentences at first because they are too embarrassed - that's so them! *g*
But I'm glad John is able to give the right orders in the end. *g*
Oct. 8th, 2009 10:52 am (UTC)
Hahaha John isn't CO for nothing!

Thanks so much! I'm really glad you liked it :)
Oct. 7th, 2009 08:38 pm (UTC)
Bahahah, hilarious! Loved it. XD See, it really isn't the Wraith that Atlantis ever needed to worry about - sex pollen will be the real downfall of the expedition, I'm sure of it. lolz.
Oct. 8th, 2009 10:54 am (UTC)
Yay! Thank you! Hahahaha yes, everyone will be too busy bonking to defend the city (this would be both really hot and terribly tragic! Ack! I am now torn!)

btw, your icon is AWESOME.
Oct. 9th, 2009 02:43 am (UTC)
Maybe it doesn't have to be either/or!
Maybe the Wraith are secretly deathly allergic to human.. body.. fluids?

Oct. 7th, 2009 09:49 pm (UTC)
sex pollen yeay! Nice job.
Oct. 8th, 2009 10:54 am (UTC)
Thanks! It's my first sex pollen story! ^____^
Oct. 8th, 2009 02:02 am (UTC)
Great! I love that Lorne stays so snarky even under the influence.
Oct. 8th, 2009 10:56 am (UTC)
Thank you!

Lorne's snark is one of the coolest things about him in canon isn't it!
Oct. 8th, 2009 03:04 am (UTC)
Oh, this was great. I cracked up, totally. I've become a total Lorne slut. Add that to my fixation on Sheppard's mouth ... and yeah, this worked for me!
Oct. 8th, 2009 10:57 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it!

And yeah, I am with you on the Lorne-fixation... Mmmmmm....
Oct. 8th, 2009 03:55 am (UTC)
Ahahaha I love it. Especially the way slowly starts falling under the influence of the alien sex pollen, acting before he thinks XD
Oct. 8th, 2009 09:10 am (UTC)

Here is why.
1) Lorne! Lorne always makes any story hotter.
2) Lorne + Sheppard = extra hot
3) Witty dialogue (and seriously I want to like quote every single bit of it as the most amazing stuff ever)
4) The words "humping" and "rutting" and the mental images those bits of paragraphs inspired
5) Using the military commander/subordinate issue which is apparently a kink of mine, and doing it in such a hot way
and especially
6) Having there be the influence of an alien substance and it seeming wild and out of control while at the same time having them talk about how it might be a bad idea - the dichotomy is very hot. And unique, and I am an absolute sucker for stuff I don't read all the time!

*hands you the universe*
Oct. 8th, 2009 09:13 am (UTC)
Oh plus! As an addition to #6 I should say how I loved that you worked in that they had both thought about stuff before. Feels like they are not taking advantage of each other, which makes the story more fun to read! It's so neat how you packed in all of that into a short piece while still having room for so much hot.

Oct. 8th, 2009 11:15 am (UTC)
LOL Thanks! ^_____^
Oct. 8th, 2009 11:14 am (UTC)
Ahahahahaha! YAAAAY! I'm inordinately thrilled by your comments! Thank you so much!

1) I agree
2) I REALLY agree!
3) I love writing dialogue, and also, witty men are very fuckable. Ehem.
4)- 6) I can't write if I'm not challenging myself to do things a little differently. This was actually my first sex-pollen story and I kind of felt like there was no point if it was going to be like everything else that's been written on the subject (much of it by people way more talented than me).

So yay! I'm really glad you liked it!
Oct. 9th, 2009 02:42 am (UTC)
4-6) I feel the same way when I'm writing! I feel like I either have to write something different or at least approach it from a different perspective so that, if the different doesn't come out in the writing, it was still in my head. That doesn't make any sense, does it? Hmm. But yeah, it feels so nice to stretch boundaries and be creative in creative ways!
Oct. 9th, 2009 05:09 am (UTC)
"You can't seriously be telling me," Evan gasped, and somehow he was hitching Sheppard's hips closer without even meaning to, "that all that crap around the base about sex pollen is actually true?!"


Love your Lorne!
Jan. 7th, 2010 07:34 am (UTC)
Hilarious and hot :D
( 27 comments — Leave a comment )


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